Consorting With Felons

BR: "Ah wuz talkin' to this gahy that wuz in prizun. [Editor's note: WTF?] Ah sed, 'Wye yew in here?' He sed, 'Ah wuz in a bar 'n sumwun trahyd to take mah whiskee 'way frum me. So Ah stabbed 'em in the chest.' Ah sed, 'Wow, wuz it that importunt?' He sed, 'Yeah, it wuz.' Ah sed, 'It wuz so importunt, so now yew git to spind sum tahym here fer 'cuple years.' He sed, 'Yew don' think it wuz importunt?' Ah sed, 'Well, no, not to me. But Ah don' drink, so Ah don' know.'

Them wimen in prizin ain't nuthin' to look at. Thet's wye thar in thar in the ferst playce. If'n thay wuz evin a little bit good lookin', sumbuddy'd want 'em. Wanna take care of 'em. But all'z thay'z intristed in iz pickin' fahyts with 'chuther."

Note to single men: If you're not the least bit picky and have a sensitive side... oh, and Mace. Just in case.