Thursday, August 2, 2007

Wait a Minute, Mr. Postman

Greetings and apologies, readers; I was out of the office for a few days and (incredibly) did not access the Internet. In my absence, a colleague was kind enough to take a note or two. Although he's in a soundproof concrete bunker four miles away from BR, he was still able to hear him.

BR: "Don' never send nuthin' USPS Prayhoritee Mail. Thay sed it'd be thar two days 'er less; mah sun got the package seventeen days later. Ah raized all kindsa cain. They sed all'z they kuhd do wuz refund me the prahyce'a the shippin' if it never got thar. They wuz two fiddy-doller gift cardz fer his birthday that wuz two days away. Ah inded up drahyvin' up thar 'n givin' him munney 'nstead. 'N yew know Ah mailed him a letter at the same time 'n he got it the next day. Thirdy-nine cents. Then them damn thangs show up seventeen days later. Kuhdda sent 'em FedEx fer $5.61, but 'nstead it cost nahyne dollers. Ah said, 'Never agin.'"

The astute reader will ask, "Why the f*&^ didn't he just send the gift cards in the letter, insured for $50?"

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